How dare you talk like this-Yelled Rajiv in highest of his pitch?
He grabbed the other passenger by his collar and pulled him in close proximity to his face so as to show him the death stare.
Co-passengers intervened and separated the two tangled young guys.
What was the matter, hushed an old aged man into the ears of guy sitting next to him. Nothing much uncle! He got angry over the seat. Old man was dismayed over the issue of fight and gave Rajiv a look which was anything but satisfactory.
Rajiv was not new to this scene as picking up fights was something very normal for him. Because of his shooting temper; he was avoided at workplace too.
“They dropped me again and gave only 10% increment”, said Rajiv in a low pitch and hung the call. It was her wife, Mira on the other side.
Mira knew the reason for successive failures in his career but was too timid to express her concern to Rajiv as he won’t ever accept the fact that his Anger is the sole reason behind the miseries of their life.
Mira kept the phone and went to kitchen to prepare some gourmet meal that can add some zing to Rajiv’s mood. He was a bid foodie and Mira knew this.
She finished the dinner preparation and attended her two year old son, who was a fussy kid to handle. She was exhausted over the incessant crying of her son. While she tried to console him, rang the doorbell. Rajiv reached home.
How was your day? – Mira asked the much anticipated question, while wobbling her son in her arms.
Why you daily ask the same question, Mira? – Rajiv replied in an irritated voice.
He went to wash room and Mira prepared the dining table.
Mira tried to comfort Rajiv while serving the meal.
Rajiv see I have prepared your favorite food, said Mira while extending the plate towards Rajiv.
Rajiv sat expressionless and started eating without even asking Mira to sit and start.
The moment he gulped the first morsel, his expression changed.
What have you made? He yelled at Mira. It is salt less; it is tasteless.
Rajiv returned back to his usual angry mode and started cursing Mira till she returned back from kitchen and brought some salt to add into the curry.
Rajiv, baby was crying and I made the food hurriedly so maybe, I forgot to add salt to it- Mira pleaded with tears in her eyes.
“You always have excuses to make”, said Rajiv and left the table after finishing his food.
Mira sat silently, thinking about Rajiv’s biggest enemy; THE ANGER.
Rajiv too realized the way he handled his life and felt regretful over his behavior with everyone else in his life. He knew that Mira was upset so he said sorry to her. “Apologizing won’t help Rajiv”, said Mira while wiping her Tears. She counseled Rajiv on how his anger is destroying his career as well as his family life.
“Why don’t you get some Anger management session or see some psychologist”, she said after collecting all her guts.
This statement from Mira flabbergasted him and he was despondent to see his wife, considering him some maniac, who needs a consultant.
You fume on everything happening around you that are against your wish.
Rajiv, she paused for clearing her throat and then continued- you lose your temper on every itsy-bitsy thing and it happens very often.
Mira recounted the events that were trivial but Rajiv reacted overwhelmingly on them. Rajiv was quietly listening to what Mira was saying. He was guilt-ridden and frozen to hear all the instances.
Mira convinced him for an appointment with psychologist.
The very next morning, Rajiv accompanied Mira to a young psychologist in the town. He was subjected to some questions from psychologists and then was called to follow a one month Anger management session.
Rajiv was observing a change in him, after one week of follow-up and he now knew how to handle his anger that was earlier handling him.
Rajiv re-gained his energy and happiness. Mira was happy to see a changed man and a man who is now more stable and calmerthan before.
So, if you want to solve it the way Rajiv did, follow some small but substantial rules of Anger management:
- Shrug off negative thoughts with cognitive restructuring and bring out small pieces of positive thoughts in your mind which can replace negative thoughts hovering in your head.
- Avoid using extreme negative words like “never” and “I can’t do this” when you talk about yourself. Such statements demoralize you and don’t let you use your potential.
- Be logical rather than angry. Don’t justify your anger even if it was situational.Tell yourself that world is not your enemy and do this each time when anger starts growing.
- Don’t be much demanding but be requesting. Angry people demand things that are many times unfair or unethical and burst into anger once they are not fulfilled.
- Use simple relaxation tactics like deep breathing and relaxing imagery.
- Think before you react and talk often. Try to move away from the place of heated conversation and return back once you cool down then continue the conversation.